Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
