Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
