No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
