he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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