Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
