DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
