i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
