WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
