He told me they were just razor bumps!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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