walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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