Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
as a side note pls kill me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
