one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In other news, I just burned my penis
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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