found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
