Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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