You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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