'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
