This girl is more easily done than said...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
