the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want her autograph on my taint
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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