she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
