I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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