if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
