i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
