I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
