ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
