You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
too bad you live with your parents still
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
