I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
