his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
