Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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