Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
