Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
