you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
