anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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