Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
