I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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