Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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