Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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