Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
