I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
