You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
two words...techno handjob
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
