i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
