I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
