im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
