Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
