he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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