how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
