i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize