i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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