Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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