i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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