If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
