the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
